She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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