Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
