so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
