and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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