imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
‪Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best. ‬
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