im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
one two three fourrrrnication!
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
