dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
