I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize
