Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
