She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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