I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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