I am full of burrito and curiosity
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
