Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
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