She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
