I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
