When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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