Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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