Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I cockslap morals
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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