Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I think my moral compass just broke
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
