Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
there is glitter all over my balls
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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