the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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