I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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