WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
