did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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