True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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