maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
You brought string cheese to the strip club
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Randomize
