she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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