there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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