so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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