you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
