Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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