apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
