Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
