he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
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