I'm drive I can fine osifer
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
There r osticjed everywhere
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
