My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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