i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
