Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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