You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
