I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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