dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
