meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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