What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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