she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
