whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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