very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
