legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
