you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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