I accidentally had phone sex last night
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
