I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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