Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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