What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize