So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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