you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
