I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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