Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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