how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
