I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
