There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
