i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
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it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
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I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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