Having a random hookup so left but love u
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
This house was built for laser tag.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
